Travel with kids * Amy * Botswana

Series - "Travel with kids" is a series of posts from women who have traveled internationally (with their kids) and lived to tell about it. Hopefully their travel tips (and trials) will encourage and equip your family for adventures of your own. 

Introduction - Amy and her husband Dan are friends that we met through the residency program about four years ago. The last meal we shared together was Shrimp Mofongo in Old San Juan. Amy is categorically the most "domestically crafty" person that I know - she makes things like wool coats. She taught me a few things about canning and has been my source for Lancaster fresh fruit for the past few years. You can read more about Amy and their time in Botswana here. 

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I’m pretty sure our parents thought we were crazy. Edwin had just turned 2 and Elena was 4 months old.  My husband Dan had made arrangements to work in the Emergency Room at the Princess Marina Hospital in Gaborone, Botswana for 6 weeks.  This would be his third trip to southern Africa and my second, so we were also planning on visiting friends in South Africa and Swaziland during the 2 weeks prior to his residency rotation.  Neither of us had been to Botswana before, but the culture had some similarities to cultures in the other countries (namely Zambia and Swaziland) we had been to. They are warm and welcoming, relaxed and generally more people-focused than some other cultures.  Dan had made some contacts with folks there, so we felt like we were relatively prepared to spend 6 weeks in an unknown city. We also had the advantage of having friends who live near the airport, so they picked us up after arriving and took us to the airport when we were heading back to the U.S. 

I spent a lot of time trying to decide what to pack for myself and kids. Doing some research on the destination and really being as prepared as possible is one of the keys to successful traveling, especially with children in the mix. The seasons in Botswana are opposite ours here (it’s summer there while it’s winter on the east coast of the U.S.), and we would be transitioning from summer into winter while there, so I had to figure out how to maximize the clothing we took, without taking too much.  I had also learned from a Botswana native we know here, that baby items - such as disposable diapers - are quite expensive there, so I planned to take along cloth diapers for our 4 month old.

I made a special backpack for our 2 year old to wear and carry a few of his favorite items. The only snag I ran into with this was that I should’ve waited to give him his special blankie until after we were through the security check at the airport. We were that family: a toddler in a full-out trantrum, kicking and screaming on the floor while the mom (with an infant strapped to her) is trying to wrestle the blankie out of the toddlers hands so it can go on the conveyor belt, while the dad has his hands full trying to get the carry-ons off the conveyor belt as soon as possible. And it was not a short line of people behind us.

 
I really tried to prepare for the two flights. I was exclusively nursing Elena, and she wasn’t old enough to be mobile, so I wasn’t worried about taking her on the flight. I was much more concerned about Edwin.  In thinking about my best ideas for entertaining and distracting a 2 year old while flying, I came up with this list.

1)  Bring lots and lots of his favorite snacks. Preferably non-sugary ones, so you aren’t dealing with sugar highs and lows, if possible.  I had little baggies of goldfish, Cheerios , raisins and granola bars. I didn’t worry about whether he ate the in flight meals. I was determined we would have no food battles while flying. You want to subsist on goldfish and Cheerios? No problem!  (And as a side note, I recommend packing some of those favorite snacks in your checked bags too. It’s nice to be able to whip out some familiar food once you’ve arrived. Having some familiar snacks is a good way to help a toddler transition into a new place.

2)  If you have a limit – or ban – on videos and television, now is the time to lift it and let them watch to their heart’s content. At home we don’t watch a lot of shows, but we definitely let Edwin watch as much of the preschooler program on the flight as he wanted. At the time, Dan also had a iPod Touch, so we had some favorite videos on that.

3)  Don’t forget about books. I took some of our favorite books on the flight. I also packed some of the books we read at bedtime, so that we could have something else that was familiar once we got settled into our accommodations. Resuming a normal routine, with familiar items, was something that seemed to help Edwin transition (I’ll make sure to tell you what didn’t help too!).

4)  Small toys and stickers. Edwin had room in his backpack for some small construction vehicles and some stickers. I also packed extra stickers and doled them out as needed.  Basically, if you think about what activities your child likes the best, and then find ways to take smaller or alternate versions along, then you can whip them out when needed while traveling. For example, I had heard that you can’t take playdough on a flight (too similar to bomb-making supplies or something?), so I took some seafoam instead.

5)  If you have a young infant, make sure you can reserve a bassinet for them. These hang on the wall and are a wonderful invention. This made our trip (which consisted of one 8.5 hour flight and one 10.5 hour flight) bearable with an infant. I could put Elena in the bassinet to sleep or when I needed to eat. Or use the toilet (Dan would still be with her too.). Or just to read a book or watch a movie without having to hold her the whole time. We had to book our tickets through a travel agency to reserve a bassinet, but it was worth the extra we paid. Thankfully, Elena was small enough for the bassinet on both our trip over and our return trip.

6)  Carry your infant in a baby carrier of some kind. Most airport security checkpoints won’t make you take the baby out, so once you get to the airport you can put the baby in the carrier and walk through the airport and onto the plane hands free. We also took a small umbrella stroller that we used for either child from time to time, but when going through security, I kept Elena in my Moby wrap. Plus, depending on the culture of your destination, wearing a baby in a wrap is a great way to keep curious hands from touching your baby.

Surviving your flights is really important, but so is surviving the first few days and weeks in your new place.   
There are a few things I learned along the way.

1. Jet lag is real. Jet lag is not fun to experience. It’s even less fun when your children are going through it at the same time you are, which is inevitable when traveling. If I could have changed anything about our trip, I would have made sure we went directly to Gaborone and saved our traveling around until after Dan was finished with his rotation. The timing of things didn’t work out that way, so if we wanted to visit friends, we had to do it immediately after arriving in Africa. Let me tell you, traveling to multiple homes and visiting lots of people after a long trip, is not a helpful way to transition your toddler into a new place. Either way, be prepared for more tantrums and tears and know that they will eventually even out once you resume a normal routine.

2. Meet people. On this trip, I was going to be doing the same things I do here at home: take care of the house, take care of the kids, cook meals, etc.  The last time I had traveled to southern Africa, Dan and I didn’t have children, and while he was busy working at a hospital, I was busy teaching at a local school. So I was out and about every day. I was meeting expats and native residents. I was forming relationships and connections. However, on this most recent trip, I didn’t have any outside activities, and I found that although it wasn’t my first time traveling, I had to push myself to step out of my comfort zone and get out of the house – either on my own or with the kids. (We had house help while in Gaborone, so there were times when I left the kids at home while doing some shopping.) It’s really, really important to make friends wherever you go. If possible, make sure you meet expats (I got connected with a Moms group for a few weeks) and native residents. Thankfully, there wasn’t much of a language barrier where we were - which can make meeting people and accomplishing simple outings more difficult - so that wasn’t an issue. (However, people in Botswana drive on the opposite side of the road from the U.S., so I did have to tackle that hurdle.) But it can still be difficult to step out of the house and make connections, but I found it was very, very important. 

3. Savor your time. You might find that once you arrive, you feel homesick and miss your friends and family and the familiarity of where you came from. But do your best to savor your time, whether it’s short or long. I was ready to get back home and see my friends, but I tried to enjoy our time and to savor the experiences we had. Traveling and living somewhere else is an amazing opportunity. I hope to have more chances to immerse myself in another country and culture. And I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful trip.

4. Crazy experiences make great stories. Just remember, crazy things will happen while traveling with children. Try to remind yourself that those crazy, wild experiences will be fabulous stories to tell your friends and family members and to laugh over down the road. 

The time, the energy and the expense was definitely worth it. I wouldn’t trade that trip for extra money in our savings account. Even though our children were so young, it was a great experience for our family.